It was through my fear of sleeping that I found my gift in art.
Although I lost several people to death at that time; The grief in losing my sister is what “broke” me. As I slept, I dreamt about her. My mind was giving me a space to work through the grief. I rejected dreaming and refused to sleep. This is when art reached out to me. I had never done much of anything artistic before. Although, I now understand it has always been in me. I started to paint, not knowing what I was doing. I would get lost for hours in the paint, the color, the texture, the joy of bringing to life something I did not know was there. I was able to let my mind work through the grief to a place of understanding. I began to feel joy as I thought of my missing loved ones; the ones who had left this world. I embraced who they were in who I was.
It was so much more than that… it was an awakening!
I found a place to embrace myself, to look deep inside and not get burned.
In fact, the deeper I go the more beauty I find. All of the “stuff” I packed deep inside of me is bubbling out. I am happy to have brought myself back, all of me. My purpose is to share this gift. To offer to others who are stuck in their own frozen state; a place to step into the energy of being who we are. No matter how messy it may look, we are created to create. I promise you there is beauty in who you are.